gaslighting in relationships
Gaslighting in relationships is very toxic and to ensure a happy and loving relationship has to be dealt with immediately.
The longer gaslighting is happening, the harder it gets to leave the vicious circle !
It is very important to distinguish 2 different kinds of gaslighting in relationships.
1 – The abuser uses gaslighting on purpose
2 – The abuser uses gaslighting techniques without consciously knowing what he is doing
In the first case there really is only one solution.
You should end the relationship as soon as possible.
The toxicity of gaslighting in relationships will make you miserable.
It does not matter if your partner has other nice traits and apart of gaslighting seems to be the perfect match.
Chances are high that your perception of him does not match to the reality.
Because that is an integral part of gaslighting, you are manipulated into thinking your abuser is different than he really is.
In same cases it is possible to safe the relationship if the abuser agrees to see therapist and starts working on himself.
But this is a long process and exhausting to the victim, the abuser and the relationship.
In the second case you can start changing the relationship dynamics.
Your weapon of choice is the knowledge about gaslighting.
Every Time a subconscious gaslighting attempt happens, simply acknowledge what is happening,
and discuss with your partner what he is doing right now, how it makes you feel and try to figure out together
what lies behind the gaslighting attempt of your partner.
It is important to have a civilised discussion immediately.
If the abuser gets defensive, blames you or uses any other gaslighting techniques,
he is doing it on purpose ! see case one above to know what to do.